Halle Berry's Hammer Toes to the Rescue?

Sultry actress to star in a different kind of nail-biter!
By A. Scott Walton
Asking Halle Berry to star in a film about stiletto heel worship is like making a movie about celibacy, with Tiger Woods as the leading man.
To quote the ever-eloquent R&B lyricist Keith Sweat: "Sumpin, sumpin, sumpin, sumpin just ain't right" with this next picture Berry's set to appear in.
After extensive online research - excluding Youtube clips of the toe-curling sex scene with Billy Bob Thornton in "Monster's Ball" that won her an Academy Award - Halle Berry's feet appear too jacked up for her to play the lead in the screen adaptation of "Shoe Addicts Anonymous". But, as WWD reports, filming of Beth Harbison's best-selling novel about a group of women who share the same shoe size (and little else)begins in Chicago this fall.
Photographers follow Berry relentlessly, whether she's on the red carpet or at Wal-Mart. Rarely, if ever, are her feet portrayed as her best asset. In fact, there are frequent suggestions that Halle Berry has six toes.
She's gonna need all her Oscar-winning talent _ or a stung/foot double _ to pull this role off.
Luckily for her, "Shoe Addicts Anonymous" is meant to be a farce about fashion obsession. So, if Halle has a moment reminiscent of Jim Brown (or was it Isaac Hayes who got his big toe shot off) in "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka", feel free to laugh.
P. DIDDY WEARS GRANNY PANTIES?: Just check out page 118 of the "134th Annual Comedy Issue" of GQ to see all the shameful lengths of self-promotion a man will go to at the risk of showing his short-comings. We're left speechless; as we're sure the security guy lurking in the background of the photo is as well...
MediaTakeout - Diddy comes up short!
Boston Globe - Bikinis previewed for summer 2011: Think shrink
Us Magazine - Giorgio Armani, 76, shows his "package"